All Time Top Five Worst Ben Stiller Movies

The Ben Stiller crapfest 'A Night at the Museum' comes out on DVD today, and, like most Ben Stiller movies, you'll either love it or hate it (I assume anyone over the age of 7 falls into the 'hate it' category). I'd initially considered saving this list for the now seemingly inevitable release of the sure to be god-awful 'Little Fockers', but decided, why wait? Because that's the thing with Ben Stiller; for every 'Zoolander', there's a 'Mystery Men'; for every 'Meet the Parents' there's a 'Meet the Fockers' and so on.

Therefore, it seems like a good idea to delve into the All Time Top Five Worst Ben Stiller movies. Below lies the worst of the worst. (If you're a Ben Stiller fan and don't appreciate the hating on his poorer choices, don't fret; tomorrow we'll continue the Ben Stiller theme, but in a more positive way. We'll look at the All Time Top Five Ben Stiller cameos in other people's movies, because sometimes it's best to get your Stiller in small doses.)

5) Untitled Christine Taylor Project - Okay, this one might be cheating a little bit, since it hasn't actually happened yet, and is, technically, a television show, but come on--you know it's gonna suck.

4) Duplex - I haven't actually seen this one, but sometimes you don't have to.

3) Mystery Men - I'll give this movie some positive points for having such an outstanding cast, but then I'll take all of those points away--and then some--for squandering said cast so horribly. Incidentally, I think it is this movie that singlehandedly forced the skinny half of the 'Good Burger' team, Kel Mitchell, into the so truly awful it's actually oddly compelling 'Dance 360' while his more plump co-star moved onto the greener (sort of) pastures of SNL, replacing Horatio Sanz as the unfunny fat guy who laughs through every sketch he's in. (Interesting bit of trivia: with this movie, Ben Stiller has co-starred with both halves of the Dynamic Duo of Keenan and Kel, also starring in 'Heavyweights' with a younger, fatter Keenan.)

2) Keeping the Faith - What was the suckiest thing about this movie? Could it have been the fact that it wasn't at all funny? Maybe. The fact that they cast the ever-annoying Dharma as the love interest? Quite possibly. Perhaps it was the way they portrayed religious stereotypes for cheap laughs? Almost definitely. Wait, no, maybe it was the way Ben Stiller and Edward Norton--two guys that few people would confuse for 'cool'--portrayed a 'hip' Rabbi and a 'chill' priest who wear leather jackets and sunglasses and make religion fun and exciting. Most assuredly. But no, I think there is a more compelling case for this movie's suckitude. The tagline. "If you have to believe in something, you might as well believe in love." *Throws up in mouth* Moving on.

1) Envy - This movie is just awful. Don't watch it, unless you want to get extremely angry wondering how a cast of Stiller, Jack Black, Christopher Walken, Academy Award Winner Rachel Weisz, and the hilarious Amy Poehler could could all be so horribly wasted on such a craptastic film. There really isn't anything redeemable about it, which makes it the perfect choice for Ben Stiller's crappiest of many, many crappy films.

Crappy Ben Stiller Movies that just missed the cut: Meet the Fockers (a crapfest from start to finish, sure, but...well, we could only fit 5 movies), Heavyweights (Stiller is actually the only good thing about this crappy Disney flick about fat kids at a fat camp, so it hardly seems fair to punish him for it), Reality Bites (and so did this movie), and Along Came Polly (saved by Phillip Seymour Hoffman's hilarious "I just sharted," bit. How can a movie with something that sublime be the worst anything?).