I was reading something about movie villains today, and it got me thinking; let's say you hear something in the middle of the night, stumble out of bed and investigate. You look around briefly but don't see anything out of the ordinary, so you head to the bathroom and bend over to rinse your face with water briefly. You turn off the faucet and look up, and there, standing behind you is ___________, the villain from ___________. Who would be the scariest movie villain to see behind you in the mirror. Here's the definitive Top Five.
5) Freddy Krueger/Jason Vorhees/Michael Myers - It's a 3 way tie for this one, basically because they are the generic stock slasher flick villain you'd hate to see pretty much anywhere. They're scary, sure, but it seems like a cop-out to take up 3 seperate spots on the list with them. This seems about right. (Points lost for seeing Freddy Krueger in the mirror behind you, because that's the point where you'd wake up and realize it was just a dream.)
4) Darth Vader - This of course assumes that we're talking the James Earl Jones voiced giant and not the whiny Hayden Christensen one. To be honest, this guy would've been much higher on the list if George Lucas hadn't decided to defile his legacy with those godawful prequels. Seemed like a good idea at the time, didn't it? Darth also loses points for basically being the Emperor's bitch.
3) A Vampire of Pretty Much Any Type - Dracula maybe? It doesn't matter. Vampires just freak me out.
2) The Little Girl from the Exorcist - When she was possessed of course. So maybe, more appropriately, the answer to this one is "the Devil when possessing somebody", but that seems more cumbersome. That girl was just scary looking. Two things that amazed me about that movie. 1) That it took them so long to get this girl checked out, and that they also seemed to general have some sort of contact with her. Once she started speaking in tongues and looking creepy, I'd be out. But that's just me. 2) That the little girl grew up to be pretty hot, actually. Even now she's kind of a MILF.
1) Wicked Witch of the West - The Wicked Witch of the West scared the crap out of me as a kid, and I gotta tell you, she still sort of scares me. I used to have all kinds of nightmares involving the exact scenario I laid out in the opening paragraph when I was younger. I used to think I'd grow out of it, but I still sometimes have nightmares about her. She was genuinely scary. The weird thing about it, is that the movie is so old (and really pretty boring when she's not around) and yet I can't imagine that they could make her look scarier if they remade that film today. They'd probably just CGI the character or something. Margaret Hamilton was just perfectly frightening. The fact remains, The Wicked Witch of the West is by far the scariest movie villain of all time, despite recent revisionist history to the contrary.
Movie Villains that Just missed: Hannibal Lecter (I guess he's scary, but Anthony Hopkins just doesn't scare me. I mean, have you seen 'Howard's End'?); Terminator (which one do you pick? The scariest would probably be the liquid metal one from the 1st sequel, but, really, that's just a guy with elf-like ears. And how scary is that?); Any "Scary" Disney Character (they're cartoons, get over it).
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
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1 comment:
Robert Patrick is awesome... he played Agent John Doggett in the X-Files. But yes... it was freaky when he could melt like metal and stuff.
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