All Time Top Five Talking Pigs

In honor of Alec Baldwin calling his daughter a "rude, thoughtless little pig," we thought it'd be fun to take a look at some of the great talking pigs through history. Without further ado, the All Time Top Five Best Talking Pigs Ever.

5) Rosie O'Don...we kid Rosie because we love her. The real list:

5) Arnold the Talking Pig from 'Green Acres' - I don't really know much about 'Green Acres' aside from the theme song (which is now no doubt stuck in your head, much to your chagrin I'm sure), but I do know they had a talking pig. Which is kind of cool. Otherwise I'm not sure the show was worth a damn. So, for making that show at least appear worthwhile, Arnold makes this list. Bonus points for the (debunked) urban legend that the cast ate Arnold once filming wrapped.

4) Wilbur from 'Charlotte's Web' - I hate to do this, mainly because I always thought Wilbur was kind of a whiny wimp, but the fact of the matter is, the market for talking pigs is pretty dry. So Whiny Wilbur the Wuss makes it by default.

3) Babe the Gallant Pig from 'Babe' - It might seem odd that I'm no fan of Wilbur but a great admirer of Babe the Gallant Pig from Babe, but, what can I say. Spiders are gross, but the pigs that played Babe were really cute. I just liked the movie I guess. It has a quiet, understated dignity that I find charming.

2) The 3 Little Pigs - The 3 Little Pigs, while profoundly stupid (except for the one who built a brick house, of course), have certainly etched themselves a place in our collective consciousness. They also get bonus points for not only being able to speak (and hold conversations--in rhyme!), but also for being such astute carpenters as to be able to erect livable houses. I mean, that's pretty impressive. I bet Baldwin's daughter can't do that.

1) Porky the Pig - The obvious winner, if only because I don't even need to tell you where he is from. Porky is obviously the world's most famous talking pig, even if he struggles to do so without stuttering. Perhaps this is his most enduring charm, the fact that he is able to overcome his speech problems and live a healthy, normal life. Or maybe it's the fact that he's a lovable pervert who runs around without pants. Either way, congratulations to Porky, the world's greatest talking pig.

Talking Pigs That Just Missed: Napoleon and the other 'Animal Farm' pigs (not really famous enough, despite the allegorical connections), Gordy from that godawful Babe rip-off 'Gordy' (talking pig who made it big my ass), Your Toes (I wanted to include them but then they went "wee, wee, wee" all the way home, so I said screw it).